The profile of victims

They have qualities that pervert just covets: gifted and always looking to give the best of themselves, they are attractive. Bright and outgoing, they love to talk about their successes and express their joy. Being deeply generous, they can not bring themselves to admit the evil of their executioner and apply it to find excuses. Always ready to take responsibility, even guilty, accepting criticism easily, they are running out to give a perverse satisfaction possible. They introjectent guilt: "It's all my fault! "This allows a perverse narcissistic projection beyond itself by rejecting the guilt of the other:" It's his fault! "(Cf. Marie-France Hirogoyen," Mobbing ", p. 112). The research often perverse personality maternal, loving, devoted, because it needs to be loved, admired - even and especially if he himself is unable to love - to have someone entirely to his service. But the attraction he feels for them does not hate. It most often takes its toll on people full of energy and love of life, for vampirize and "devitalized." It is preferable to choose honest, sincere, kind, who truly seek to console and repair, but also naive, with little critical or sensitive, to get them easier and quicker to accept a dependent relationship . The victim often looks on the other hand a strong and charismatic person who reassures her, and this is precisely the image that the pervert wants to give him. The intended victims are those who need a meaningful purpose to exist - a prison visitor, volunteers of NGOs ... - who want to act for the good, and like to deal with "lost dogs without a collar." They fall easily under the influence of evil in which they will, often wrongly, a fragile person, a child to be protected. The evil lives and feeds on the hope that the victim's place, or hopelessly naive, in him or something he dangled constantly by false promises. This hope, harassed the victim, is to "cure" the stalker and it is this illusion that makes staying in the relationship, and continue to suffer the attacks but failed to destroy the "win" for both. We are often amazed that despite the obvious evidence, victims do not leave their executioner. But is that they also mingled pride, blindness, stubbornness, cognitive dissonance, denial of reality. For admit the reality is too painful, too unbearable, when the emotional investment in the spouse or partner has been the subject has taken so much space in their lives. They have too much to lose to give it up, starting with their illusions. There is often a love home proud, fanatical and blind (or delusional), for the partner or child pervert. Pride they do not want to see themselves as victims because they still hope to control the situation. At least that gives them the evil he believed, as he is always the real puppeteer who can draw the right strings. For some analysts the victims of a vicious assault are secretly complicit in their tormentor by establishing or promoting a sadomasochistic relationship, a source of enjoyment for the evil they hope to settle for better acceptance by him. We are then in a relationship psychopathology. Some victims appear to suffer initially from a lack of confidence that makes them pathological easily accept any form of submission. But most victims are not necessarily masochistic: what differentiates victims of perverse masochistic is that when, at the cost of immense effort, they manage to part with their executioner, they feel an immense release because suffering as such does not interest them.